Wednesday 5 March 2014

Shooting One's Mouth Off: The Veteran Cyclist's Occupational Hazard

Me and my stomach trundling round the Beacon RCC 107km Cotswold
Outing Audax in 2011

I've always talked a good bike ride. In my younger days, tucked comfortably behind my pint among a peloton of like-minded associates, I would hint, only half-jokingly, of my potential as world road champion and Tour de France prospect, and aged 17, filled with euphoria following a couple of top six road race placings, briefly believed my own publicity. After my National Service, I reluctantly abandoned my Tour ambitions, but even then, enthusiasm and over confidence for the coming season led me to make some unrealistic pronouncements, and an injudicious assertion, in the presence of the then President's lady, that I would that season destroy the club 100 mile time trial record, cost me a fortune in Green Goddess cocktails twelve months later.

      The eventual petering-out of my unremarkable racing career resulted in a shift of emphasis from forecasts of future glory to nostalgic accounts of past 'achievements'. Now decades away from reality, bog basic winter Reliability Trials like the Weston and Back and the LLangollen and Back, along with the 'characters' that were my clubmates have become the subject of myth and legend, embellished as they have been with unlikely anecdotes involving fixed-wheel training rides with brick-filled saddlebags and tales of derring-do during Bacchanalian youth hostel weekends. Some of these tales have a basis in fact, but at this distance in time I'm not sure where fact ends and fiction begins.

      Wittering on about the old days, and how bloody good you were, is the prerogative of geriatric cyclists, and although it's invariably accompanied by an attitude of disdain and derision concerning the abilities of the current crop of younger riders, it generally does no one any harm. However, this week, inspired by daughter training for a half-marathon running race, I had a momentary aberration and posted on Facebook my intention of riding the Beacon RCC 107km Cotswold Outing Audax in aid of the Prostate Cancer Charity.

      I'm not exactly regretting it, but...

      I've been round this particular Audax numerous times, and five years ago, aged 72, completed the 160 km (94 mile)Cotswold Journey which actually included hills, thankfully absent from the Cotswold Outing. So doing the Cotswold Outing again seemed like a damn good idea until I realised that I'm now 77, haven't done many miles since my prostate diagnosis in 2011, and no single ride of more than 35 miles in the last two years.

     While I was reflecting on the discrepancy between ambition and ability, and the potential consequences of having shot my mouth off, the till on my Just Giving page was ringing enthusiastically, with £240 donated within hours.  So, like it or not, I'm riding the Cotswold Outing Audax. 

      Fortunately, I'm not such a prat as I sometimes make out. (I'm not!) and have come up with a Training Plan, designed to get me round the course in relatively good order.

     It is foolproof, and based on 63 years of cycling experience, and if nothing else, will get me out on the bike regularly over the next 15 weeks. 

     I know exactly what I'm doing.

     What can possibly go wrong?

f you'd like to donate you;ll find my Just Giving page at:http://t.co/PUhFfH1BfN
      

3 comments:

  1. Nothing will go wrong! Trust me...

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  2. you'll be great. How many of your fellow geriatrics can you persuade to join you, or at least to ride alongside you in relays yelling encouragement?

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  3. Avoid all potholes, empty your bladder beforehand, ring your bell as you hare round corners... and then nothing can go wrong.

    Oh, your bowels. Should have mentioned those...

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